Do you ever feel your life violently twist you in two different directions? Like you've come to a point where you have to choose between two very good decisions, but you better do it carefully because both lead you in a completely different direction? Well, this has been my past two weeks. Opportunity came knocking on my door, unannounced and and unexpected. I received a phone call driving home from my dear friend's wedding. It was my friend Maddie's mother. She and her husband were talking to members of the ward and my name was brought up. Before I began to even process what exactly was going on, I was placed on the line with the member they'd been talking with, being offered a job across the country. I already had two fantastic part-time jobs, working with troubled youth and loving it, and working as a nanny for two adorable boys. I didn't need another job- I was already working like mad to save up for my mission. Then I heard it. "...she lives in New York. Upstate. In a cute town called Rexford, about 15 miles away from Albany..." I'd be working as a caretaker for this woman's 46 yr. old daughter who'd been recently diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and her three children who were living at home. I thanked the woman for talking to me about their family situation, I gave her my number and told her I needed to definitely think about the offer and I'd get back to her as soon as I knew.
After wrestling with the thought for a couple days, I came to the conclusion that I couldn't go. I was being ripped in half and didn't know what to do, so I stopped entertaining the idea. I'd made too many commitments here- I promised a friend I'd move in with her, I would be letting down all those kids, my employers, not to mention all the friends I'd be leaving behind. Plus I didn't want to promise and commit anything unless I was giving my 100%. This was such a difficult process for the family- I didn't want to cause any unnecessary pain. So I called them up and politely declined, but offered a reference for another who'd do wonders for that family.
I felt good about my decision, so I kept living and searching for apartments. Then things started to slowly unravel. I couldn't find a reasonable apartment, housing arrangements didn't work out, any boy prospects completely fizzled out and ceased to exist, and I wasn't making a connection with the boys I was nannying for. A thought kept churning over and over in my head about what I would tell my future children when scary, new adventures came knocking on their door. How could I tell them to go and try things and leave your imprint on the world if I turned down an opportunity to do so so many years before? I concluded I'd just have to keep trusting and see what happened.
The very next day, I ran into the sweet woman who offered me the job. She came up to me in church and gave me a hug and said "Heather, the family doesn't care if you have to leave to go on a mission. We just know you're the right fit for us. No one else could do the job that you can. I want you to just think about it, and let me know if you change your mind. " With that she walked away and sent me into a stupor. 'What if this isn't just a test? What if this is divine intervention? What if this really is the experience I need in preparation for my mission?' So, needless to say, I went into another praying frenzy. After seeking advice, I decided to make another pros and cons list. There were more pros and cons for NY, less for St. George. Money is a big pull because I'm saving up for my mission- but after calculating all costs, it ended up being the same if I stayed or moved. So it came down to this. What experience would benefit me now and in the future, best prepare me for my mission and where could I best be of service? Most importantly, what did I desire most? and when it came down to that, there was no question what I desired. So I made a phone call and told the family in New York "I would love the opportunity to serve you all until I go on my mission." The next day, I put in my two weeks notice, and started making preparations to leave. I finally told my family this Sunday when everything checked out.
I fly out of Salt Lake on the 9th of September for Rexford, New York where I anticipate to work for 4-6 months, depending on when I get my mission call. I'm so excited for this experience to grow, to learn, adapt and become better. Im excited To draw closer to my Father in Heaven, to be able to work in helping someone during their few precious moments here on earth and the family who will proudly carry on her memory. I know it will not be an easy road, but I know I can do it. I have the best support in the world. I'll keep you updated friends on my adventures while I'm here and abroad. Love you all. Remember who is in charge and seek to perform His will. You won't be sorry. Peace out, readers! Until next time,
