I just want to be okay

*DISCLOSURE* I'm apologize in advance for the avalanche of word vomit about to ensue. Close the tab now while you still have a chance! 
Is it okay that I don't feel okay?
Is it okay to just start spouting obvious lies like 'This summer I'm running away with the circus to become an acrobat because I enjoy hanging from vertical bars a hundred feet in the air.', 'I'm really a fairy from a mystical land, but I was placed in this wretched place by an evil queen.' "I'm allergic to the sun, so I have to live with my parents." Or 'I'm hopping on a plane to Belarus to become a bar wench because its a bit less embarrassing  than my current reality.' ?
I know that I'm blessed to live in a free country, in a home with air conditioning and food in the pantry. I know that I'm lucky I don't have to pay rent right now. I have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.
But I'm not happy.
I feel alone. I feel anxious and extremely frustrated. I feel angry, sad, lost, and restless all at once.  I hate that I'm human but am too proud to admit that I need people sometimes. I hate that I feel this way.  I want a  best friend. Someone to hug me, BE HERE WITH ME, not judge me for my obvious imperfection, and help remind me of where I'm going.
I want a new adventure. I want a new city, where no one knows my name. I want to feel the wind blowing through my hair and the sea breeze caressing my face again.
I want to permanently break the chains that are holding me here. I want to not be afraid of freedom.
I want to stop feeling like a total failure all the time. I know its all up to me.
But I need to know if it's okay to feel like this? Am I justified in feeling completely and utterly trapped? Like all my light is being squelched and that I am supposed to fade into the shadows, never to re-emerge?
I know I shouldn't wallow. I should just try to see the bright side, look forward, and stop being such a sissy. I am the feminist saying that I am going to make my own happy ending. But is it okay to just throw myself on an inanimate object and cry like my Disney princess counterparts? I'm so tired of having to be strong, of having to fix EVERYTHING all the time. I'm sick of being overlooked, of giving all that I have and no one caring. I want so bad to have something concrete in my life. I'm sick of mourning. For my heart hurting so bad that I can't breathe. I'm sick of having to be brave when I don't want to be and having to lie to myself to make it through the day. I'm sick of being scared. I'm sick of the me that I currently am. I'm sick of feeling like it'd take a miracle to fix me and everything else, so I get overwhelmed and don't.  I know I am meant to do so much more, to be so much more. I'm just...not.

I'm sick of pretending, of making myself believe things that simply aren't true.  I'm not okay.
I'm not okay today.