New Developments

Hello Readers. I've currently had this issue where I've felt like I've been floating around aimlessly, kind of like plankton in a swirling ocean. After England completely flopped, I was lost. I didn't know where I was needed or where I was going. I had a mountain of decisions. I hadn't registered for the next semester yet, my family was moving, I lost my job, and an adorable boy kinda sorta stepped in the picture. Cedar, Salt Lake or St. George. So after a month or so of fasting, praying, soul searching, and telling people about my situation, on Christmas day I felt like I needed to make a decision and stick to it. So, as of late, I'm going to be staying in St. George. I feel that this is where I can do the most good, where I can flourish and grow, and where my support is. I'm looking for another job currently, preferably two, transfer to Dixie and take some night classes, and I can submit my mission papers as early as April 12th. I'll be staying with the Christensen family, which I'm so excited for. I"ll be able to start getting into missionary mode, break into good eating, exercise and study habits and just generally work on myself. I'm so excited. Just thought you should know! I'll keep you updated on everything. About the move, classes, jobs...everything. Until then readers, peace

Merry Christmas!

Christmas in St. George

I love Christmastime. I love being able to shout it from the rooftops, to everyone I meet. I love the chill in the air, the spirit that touches the hearts of everyone you meet and the message this wonderful Christmas season. I love that everything is about Christ and I long for the spirit to be around all year. I thought that this Christmas would be really difficult to enjoy because of the events that have transpired the past few weeks, but I've been blessed with the flame burning in my heart. I love this gospel. Its my rock. Even though everything in my life is uncertain, I know that my Father in Heaven and His beloved son are there for me always, guiding and protecting me. I love them with all that I am. I only pray that I live they way they'd have me live.  Merry Christmas! Wise men seek him still.

It's Finally Here

Its true. After months of obstacle after obstacle, heartache, tears, frustration and tender mercies, I can finally take the greatly anticipated journey overseas. In less than two weeks,  I'm departing from the St. George airport to Salt Lake, then to JFK and then a long 16 hour flight to Heathrow. So, the next post will probably be a report back on how everything went. Until then friends, I love you! Thank you all for your support and encouragement to get me here. I'm excited for what is to come.

words poignant at the present moment

There Is a Power Greater Than Ours Posted: 22 Oct 2010 12:00 AM PDT "Recognize that there is a power greater than ours, that no matter how good a man is, he is not good enough, that no matter how wise he is, he is not wise enough, that no matter how strong he is, he is not strong enough for all of the things which he will face in life, and that there is a source of power to which he can go with the assurance that he will be listened to and that there will be a response."Gordon B. Hinckley, "The Message: Gifts to Bring Home from the Mission Field," New Era, Mar. 2007, 4

Drinking it in

Today I had the privilege of going to institute again. I went with Tasia and Teren to a class about Doctrines of the Gospel taught by Brother King. It was incredible. My soul suddenly became the world's largest sponge and sucked in every word I could. We learned about pre-mortal existence, our divinity,why we are here, trials and things to come, and the responsibility we have to become and remain righteous in these last days . I was able to see and hear things I never ever thought or considered before today. It was incredible. I love to feel the Spirit distill upon my soul. Right now, it feels like a blanket wrapped snuggly around my heart. After class we just sat there because none of us wanted to leave. We were able to register Teren for two institute classes. All of us will go at 11 o'clock every Monday through Thursday, until I leave. Also, we're planning on doing a study group from 9-10 pm on certain nights. Tonight is the first meeting, so we'll decide how many days we'd like to do it. I am just so excited to be immersed in the good things of this world and to be surrounded by such amazing people who inspire me to do so much better. I feel this is exactly what I need to start getting back into the swing of things again, the protection and battle armor I need to do the things that I need to.  Today I felt like Martha, sitting at the feet of Christ. Too often, I surround myself with things to keep me busy and get distracted from what is important in this life. So, by surrounding myself by those good things, it'll be easier not to neglect those things and create good habits. Here's hoping! Update: I am obviously still in the United States. We've been having some visa problems, but hopefully they'll be resolved soon and I'll leave immediately upon my receiving it. I'll keep you all informed. Until then, Ciao! and may God be with you.

THE BOYS ARE BACK!!!!

That's right folks. Approximately two years ago, I wrote about two of my best friends leaving on their missions. They were the first of my beloved friends to leave and serve the Lord, so I took it pretty hard. Teren and Tyson Christensen served faithfully and are returning to San Jorge THIS EVENING at approximately 9:17 and 10:50 pm!!! I can hardly contain my excitement!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!!! I'll be sure to tell you the det's later. I'm heading up to the airport in a couple minutes to meet them! :D Adios kids!

Hair Fiasco of the Century

Hello friends. So, I received a GIANT piece of humble pie today. I let my mother die my hair. Lets just say it didn't exactly take the way I anticipated. Actually, it looked like I dunked my head into a giant vat of maraschino cherries, then had demon babies eat all the cherries, throw them up on my head and forever burn the color on my once beautiful mane. Yes. It was THAT bad.  I have proof. Please. Feel free to laugh. hysterically.

SEE?!?!?

My mom said i looked like a crazed scottswoman in this hat

Need I say more? Awful. Absolutely Awful. 

So, after sending a pic to Te, we jumped in my car, braved Target and picked up heavy duty hair dye, about the same color of ink. However, in the process of fixing the disaster, we happened to run out of hair dye. Te went to grab some more, little did we know that time was not on our side. When she came back with hair dye in hand, it was already 3:30 and Te had to work at 4. I was supposed to meet my dad for a hair appointment at 4 as well, so we slathered on some more really fast, waited five minutes and rinsed it anyway. I got in my car and saw i still had big chunks of red left.I was not a happy camper. Not to mention, My dad wasn't at Paul Mitchell, so i drove home looking and feeling more and more like an emotional gothic teenager filled with angst. When I walked in, my brother looked at my hair, and basically told me that I looked like a prostitute with my new hair do. Aren't brothers the best thing in the world!?

Lying in wait for the remaining hair dye, looking hard core, Pic 2=not a happy camper

I am praying desperately for a miracle. I have a hair appointment at 7:30 tonight to try and fix this. I will post results. Comment. I want to hear your exasperated cries and laughs.

15 days and counting!

YEP! 15 days!!! WOOT!!! Can you believe it?!

oh, and today is the hot dog's birthday! YAY!! Embrace today! Eat a hot dog! Celebrate why America is great!

Don't Panic!

Don't Panic! I didn't go and hurl myself off a bridge because I didn't think life was worth it anymore. I'm still alive, breathing, in a much healthier mental state than my previous post. After a difficult few days, I was able to talk to my best friend, Christina about all of this mumbo jumbo. I was convinced that I couldn't go to England. After some tears and some realizations, I came to the conclusion that I have plenty of opportunity to be happy. Satan was trying to convince me otherwise. There's a reason why everything has happened the way it has. There are things I'm supposed to do, people I need to meet and lives I need to touch in England and things I need to experience for myself there.  Logically, it seems completely idiotic to go to a foreign land for six months, hardly get paid anything and have most of it go toward your ticket home. But this is what I need to do and its what I'm going to do. It feels so good to finally have a direction, have the spirit with me, and the motivation to move forward. Before I was so overwhelmed with all the options, possibilities and trying to decipher what I was supposed to do, I forgot what was right in front of me the whole time. So, today I'm going to a temp agency, talking to past employers and making another appointment for Biolife so I can purchase my ticket. I am so grateful for such incredible friends who love and support me and are helping make this possible, like Christina, Moth-er ( LaDawn), Taz and amazing Italian Sodas,  for Kyle and his words of wisdom, my relatives and family. Thank you. Things are looking up. I love you all.

Lost.

I'm feeling apprehensive, swimming in a sea of doubt while the gulls of reality ceaselessly try to peck out my eyes with their thoughts of reason. Just as the torture seems to ebb, the gulls swarm and dive again, cutting deeper. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it. England seemed so perfect- I was going to go, live life in a different world, meet new people, start out fresh, with no predispositions, expectations. Now...? I'm not so sure. I'm looking at all my options, trying to keep enduring and do all that I can- I'm keeping the commandments, attending the temple as often as I can, praying, reading my scriptures and trying my very best, but I cant seem to find direction. How could something that felt SO right be completely wrong? I really didn't want to go through another 'Maine' situation. I just feel so lost. I have no idea what to do with my life if I don't go. All I want is to be happy, to experience life to the fullest and help people along the way. I can do so much good! There are lots of different options, I just don't know which one the Lord wants me to do. I just hate telling people that I'm going to go and do something and not do it. I feel like I'm quitting, letting a dream die and crash into oblivion. I hate that word, worse than the dirtiest curse word you know. I don't quit. It almost seems like I don't have the guts to stick to my guns, to follow through. I just don't want to fade into the woodwork and become like everybody else. I want to learn and experience things for myself, see the world and reach for the stars. By not doing this it feels like I'm doing just that-quitting, throwing in the towel, surrendering and going against everything in my heart wants.That's all I've ever done, because I had to. I hate it. So much. The only reason I kept going, dreaming and trying was for the hope that someday I would be able to reach for the stars. The opportunities keep slipping through my fingers. I feel like a failure.

Sometimes Life Requires a Little Patience and Some Advice

“Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!” Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Continue in Patience,” Ensign, May 2010, 57

“He is your beloved Heavenly Father, who seeks your good, your happiness. He desires with all the love of a perfect and pure Father that you reach your supernal destination. . . . All you have to do is trust your Heavenly Father. Trust Him enough to follow His plan.”
Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Your Happily Ever After,” Ensign, May 2010, 127

 Thank you President Uchtdorf for reminding me the past couple days of what I need to be doing. :)

Thank you

Dear friends, thank you all so much for your love and support, for your comments and words of encouragement. Tara, thank you especially for this quote.

"With any major decisions, there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. 'Cast not away therefore your confidence.' Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you."

So with this wonderful advice, I am going to tell Senor Satan to 'TALK TO THE HAND, LEAVE ME ALONE, GET THEE HENCE!!! I'M GOING TO ENGLAND!!!!' (idea from Moses 1) I'm not defined by my trials or temptations. I am Heather. I am a daughter of God.Thank you to Jessica for helping re-affirm my confidence and know what I need.  I know that this is the right thing to do, that adventure and excitement await me and that I can do great things for the Lord. As long as I rely on His ample arm and miraculous Atonement, I've nothing to fear.  Heavenly Father wants me to be happy. He has a plan for me, and I know that He's guided me to this point in my life. Its going to be a struggle to say goodbye, but I'm opening the door to bigger and better things for me in my life. And I can't wait.

 So with that dear friends, I love you with all my heart. I am truly blessed to have you in my life, rooting for me and encouraging me to live the way my Savior would have me live. May Heavenly Father bless you in your lives and future endeavors like He has blessed mine, that is my sincere prayer. Until the next post, adieu! xo

I feel like I'm dying

Saying goodbye to everyone and everything I love for the last time, making sure that everything is taken care of before I leave, filling out all this paper work and paying off debts...its been hard. Today I was helping Pam at the center put things together for the next year. We put name tags on all the cubbys today and not seeing my name there stung. a lot. I just have a feeling that a lot is going to change in the coming months, and it feels like I'm saying goodbye for a long time. My heart just hurts. That's all.

Uphill Village

Here are a few glimpses of what its going to be like frolicking around Uphill Village. I'm SO excited!!! 

...

I'M GOING TO ENGLAND!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*gasp*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Apparently I'm stressed. ALL THE TIME.

I am frustrated, have no one to talk to and my vanilla coke is almost gone. End of the world. 

Stressors: 

1. The project I've been working on for 8 weeks is going to pot. That means cancellations, profuse apologies, inconvenience, heart ache and feeling like an utter failure. Ug! Its like a cancelled wedding. You wouldn't wish it on a deaf donkey. He's already had to be deaf his whole life. Don't cancel a wedding on him. 

2. I have to move. Back to St. George. 

3. I'm about to embark on a international journey for a year, or at least I think I am and I don't know where yet.  

4. I haven't had a shower yet today. I know its stupid, but seriously, not being clean stresses me out. 

5. I don't know if I can register for all the online courses I need to so I can get my associates. 

6. I have to tell everyone that I'm not coming back in the fall, and that's like another cancelled wedding. I hate disappointing people. But, this is for me. I need to do this. So...I am. So I apologize in advance. 

I am the dog. Looming doom? perhaps. 

SO...yeah. Those are some stressors that I'm currently dealing with at said moment. Suggestions? Confusion? Random Outbursts? Please, feel free. Comment away, dear friends. Comment away. OH!!! And before you go, Please check out this video. It made my day a bit better. I laughed pretty hard. Just click the link. It's 30 seconds. :)   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjsE1_nZ_fs

Granny Conniptions

I have had the worst luck talking to old people today.  i just had a lady answer and say 'i have company. call me back in a week.' first of all, if you had company, what they crap did you answer the phone!?! I mean, seriously? And then i had an angry German lady tell me to not bother her and  call back in a couple months because she couldnt understand me, it was rude that I was interrupting her at that present moment and she had relatives to entertain. Ok lady, If you can't understand me now, what makes you think that you'll be able to in a couple months? Stop acting like someone was struck by lightning in your livingroom and treating me like I started a stampede during the funeral. C'mon! Take some Tums, Ex-lax and Geritol, people! So needless to say, I put the files away before I really snapped.

...Now that I've said that, I really hope I didn't interrupt a funeral.

What to do tonight?

...i think i'll read children's books. :) yes. I think that's it.
and I'm finally doing normal college-age summer activities! I'm going horseback
riding tomorrow ( I know, what the random?) and the lake on saturday.
oh and p.s....i saw this and freaked. coolest thing of the day. by far. peace kids!

food for thought.

Here's a chuckle for the day. Anybody who knows me well will especially get a kick out of this strip.

I miss my boys

Aaron Montegue, Ray Banks, Spencer Finch

other notable missionaries that I do not have current pictures of include Phuong (Dallin Cox), Mitchell Keith Westhoff, Kevin Steck, Adam Forsyth, and of course, none other than the famous Clark Jefferies Wilkey.

All are doing incredibly well in the diverse areas where they are serving faithfully. Teren and Tyson will be home in late September (AHHHH!!! I CANT WAIT!!!!!), Derek will follow shortly after and return home in November and this Thursday, Clark will have been out for an entire year. Its crazy. I'm so excited for the work these missionaries are doing and the souls they are bringing to Christ. Its still hard to have your best friends are half a world away, and you can't talk to them like you'd like to. It certainly makes things difficult when all you want/need sometimes is a Derek or Clark hug. I miss them like crazy. But it'll all be OK. Soon enough, they'll be home, smiling, bright-eyed and bushy tailed, ready to share all their missionary experiences with all that come their way. I'm excited for that day. Until then, here's an awesome quote I found that pertained to the message of missionaries. May the Lord continue to bless you and have a happy Sunday! Later!

Joseph F. Smith:  There can be no greater, or more important calling for men than that in which the Elders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- day Saints are engaged, when in the discharge of their duties as missionaries to the world.  They stand as teachers, counselors and leaders to the people.  They are commissioned with the word of life, and "the power of God unto salvation," to minister unto this proud, conceited, self-righteous, but benighted and degenerate world.          "The Sacredness of Our Calling," Millennial Star, 28 June 1875.

Look! I have fish!!! That WON'T die!!! Oh, and eat an oreo.

They're at the bottom of the page on the left hand side. I'm thoroughly excited. If you click on them, you'll feed them :) Oh and btw, today is '                Eat an Oreo Day,

 World Juggling day,

And Garfield the Cat and Tasmanian Devil's Birthday.  Go figure. 

Anyway...update! I'm doing well, I'm the second week into my job. Things have been a bit bumpy, but hopefully things will continue to look up.  Here's a smile for the day. Hope all is going well ! I'll update again soon.

New Home and New Beginnings

    Hi friends! Um, last time we spoke I was ready to go on a killing spree and opted to visit the temple grounds instead. A lot has happened since the last time we talked, so I thought I'd fill you in. I moved back to Cedar City yesterday to stay in the lovely home of my dear friend, Lacie Jo Robinson. I now have my very own room! All to myself!! And my very own sink!! All to myself!!! I am so excited, if you can't tell. AND yesterday I heard that I actually have a job! My very own job!!! All to myself!!! Doing what I love! Serving people!!! BAH!!!

     Although this move wasn't the easiest thing in the world to do, I am glad things are starting to work out. The Lord truly is incredible and does answer our prayers. I finally have the motivation to do what I need to. I still am stressed about a few things, but I just need to keep trusting that the Lord will continue to help me every step of the way. I feel so small because I'm in this world all alone and I have no one to blame for my mistakes but me, but I'm glad its that way. Its the way it should be. He'll watch and take care of me. He's my safety net, guide, comforter and best friend. Here's to new beginnings and a summer full of adventure. Until then readers, peace, love and happiness. Adieu!

Cathartic Activities, Please?

I dont know what it is about St. George, but it seems like a magic spell washes over and I suddenly become this uptight, angry person. Now, for all of those who do know me, I am not an angry soul. Not one bit. Some might even go as far as saying that I don't get angry enough. How do I remedy this??? Well right now, the only logical options would be
1.) Flee the country

2.) Drive everywhere and nowhere at the same time for hours on end 

3.) Go to the temple.

Well, as of late, I think the very best and most logical option for me would be option three. Wish me luck with my rage issue!And just to reiterate,  I really really don't look good in orange. :) Anywho, Here's hoping that you remain happy and anger free today! Adieu! 

List, In honor of the beautiful Jenni Larsen

My fantastical friend, Jenni, introduced me to the whimsical world of list making. Her blog is composed entirely of lists, so I thought I might try this interesting phenomenon myself.
A Few Things I Like
Peter Pan
spaghetti noodles
small twinkling lights
chinese lanterns
bouncy balls
clay
landscapes
bright flowers
temples
cloud shapes
sand
motorcycles
extreme sports
proving boys wrong
the beach
red vines
orange juice
good literature
making new friends
authentic mexican food
cool breezes
calvin and hobbes
smell of attractive men.
Ok, there's just a quick list of things i like. I hope you enjoyed it.

(For Jenni, because she likes cereal :) 

The Final Stretch

Hi readers. Well guess what? Today I took my last finals, I'm pretty much all packed, and graduation is tomorrow. Crazy, huh? Its been an insane year, but I'm excited to go and take a break, soak up some rays and have fun in the summer sun. Huzzah!!! Here's hoping that everything for the summer will work out, I'll make some fantastic memories, meet new people and learn a lot about myself and the world around me.  Until then, keep it real! Much love!!!

(A representation of my roomies and I up late studying for finals)