Born in the Wrong Era

Today, while I was baking a cake, I was being serenaded by none other than Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra, Mel Torme, Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, Michael Buble and Ray Charles, to name a few of the greats. I can't fathom why a girl who gags at form of cheesy, romantic gestures or the very mention of chick flicks suddenly turns into a great gelatinous mass every time she hears 'Georgia on my Mind' or 'Stardust'. I swear, I don't know what I'm going to do if I'm suddenly in a situation with a member of the opposite sex, sitting alone in a room, and he decides to put on one of the classic love ballads of the 40's...or worse, he has a voice of an angel and he starts singing to me!

A) I'll either pass out completely because they're fully aware of and adore the great men from the 40's.

B) Wet my pants then and there or have an aneurysm and die right on the spot

C) or the worse-I would lose control of all my senses completely and lay a big wet one right on their sweet angel lips.

So pretty much, I'm sunk. This is probably precisely why I wasn't born during the age of swing, sweet love ballads and jazz. I'd go crazy and probably get arrested for assaulting a beautiful beau with a nice set of pipes. God must have known in the pre-existence that I look awful in orange.

Anyway, wish me luck with staying out of said situation. Hopefully my saying so won't create a monster and mutate into some cruel joke where every attractive and unattractive man in cedar city lines up outside my door and plays a sappy song in hopes of stealing a smooch or two. I guess i'll just have to have a permanent pair of earplugs or a can of mace handy whenever I choose to leave my house. Well kids, it sounds like an adventure. Until we meet again, Enjoy life, sappy love songs, make-believe, chocolate chip cookies, fresh winter air and the sunshine. :) Peace!

sad attempt

This was my approach this afternoon....it was futile, to say the least.

Needs a hug

Hi kids. I need a hug. It seems like my world is spinning out of control. I'm trying my very hardest to do what I'm supposed to, but nothing seems to be working. Everyone hates me, I don't know what to change, I'm terrified of what lies ahead and how I'm going to deal with it, and I'll I want to do is drive away to some secluded corner of the earth and think for a while. I feel like I can't talk to anybody about what I'm feeling either! I'm so frustrated. If any of you awesome people want to yell at me now, feel free. Everyone hates me anyway. Maybe you could enlighten me on what I'm obviously doing wrong so I can fix things. Anyways, I hope all is going well for you.
Peace.

Cruel, Commercialized, Corporate America

I hate Valentines Day decorations. The very sight of a sea of glittering pink and red is enough to make me want to puke. Valentines day was a stupid invention to make men feel guilty about not treating their wives/girlfriends with the decency and respect they deserved so they have to make a holiday so 1) Men can redeem themselves for being dolts the rest of the year 2) Or, a provide great opportunity to really screw up. Why do we have to make a holiday out of it? A guy shouldn't need a commercialized, superficial holiday to express how he feels about someone. Any day is a good day to receive flowers or a gift from the heart. We shouldn't have to put on a love parade with cherubs, heart confetti and Beatles music every February 14th.

Plus, Valentine's Day is also manifestation of all the other lonely, single people who haven't had a pesky cherub shoot them in the butt with cupid's arrow. They already feel like crap because they think no one loves them. Why rub it in? So what do we do? We get depressed, buy all the chocolate we can shove down our throats, and fill our minds with unrealistic crap found in every bad chick flick because our heart longs for something to that sappy degree. What does this say about us? We're a sick, masochistic society. Sick.

I enjoy Calvin's approach.