Heather Heart 2.0, please?

I'm in a strange transitional period in my life. All I want is to contribute to society. I want to help and lift people, wipe away tears, see the world, learn things from others and from books, find answers and incorporate them into every day life. I want to feel the ocean breeze on my face again, to run along the beach, laugh with all my heart, love with all my heart and have fantastic adventures.  I want to feel like I am actually 21, not 49.  I feel as if my heart has been set in a cage, left to atrophy and decay; like a lonesome bird whose song has been quieted after years of trying to escape through cold, brass bars. I'm trying to weigh my options right now, to feel what it is that I am supposed to do with this period of my life and essentially my future. I have been blessed with many talents, people who love me and many roads. I just feel like I've kind of lost sight of who I am, and by default my desires have kind of flown out the window like wisps of smoke. Now I'm trying to re-collect them with a net with really big gaps in it. I guess that means that repair takes time, patience, trust- and initiative and courage to re-discover.  I'd like to write a book, maybe learn the guitar and try my hand at songwriting, become healthy- take down all my walls. I just don't know how or which direction to take. 

P.S.- I totally would like this in real life! So adorable!

Sometimes I wish my heart had a literal compass built in, so I'd know specifically which direction to start heading toward.  For instance, I was just offered a full time position working with youth doing something I love. I want to make sure that I am doing the right thing, not the easy thing; the best thing, not the good second option. But despite being lost, I want more than anything to feel free and happy. My dear friend who I had the honor and pleasure of serving for months is currently in the hospital on death's door.  She taught me many things, but despite everything, she's always seemed to maintain a level of happiness and fills everyone's life with sunshine and pure joy.  She's truly lived up to Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin's advice to "Come what may, and love it." I pray that during this time and in the future, I may take a leaf out of her book and appreciate this time given to me, to take risks and truly live. Until then, if you know how I could possibly hook up a sweet compass to my beating myocardium, letters, emails and informative journal articles would be greatly appreciated. Until next time, much love!