Its like I'm a background piece of a puzzle, with similar foliage and coloring, but the edges don't align, no matter how hard you manipulate the situation. I'm in a phase of my life where it's hard to relate to others around me, especially since I've been "blessed" with such unique and difficult circumstances. Everyone exists in their perfect universe and when you don't live up the expectations of that universe, you're shunned, labeled, treated inferior. So you ignore it, brush it off, and keep pretending and/or move on in search of your pieces elsewhere.
Days like today I want to throw my hands in the air and jump on a bus, plane, train heading to a bright horizon, a new start, preferably to Boston or New York or Bermuda where no one knows my name, my story, or anything that I've ever done or not done. Where I can have another chance to find out if I fit in another picture and be an actual player in the beauty instead of feeling like a washed-up fraud or an intrusive observer. I guess that this is what being homeless must be like; forced to wander without knowing how long you'll have your bases covered and if you'll make it through , never fitting really, just existing like a fly on a wall. It's not ideal, but it's what I've got. In the meantime, I'll make the best of this. I'll find my road, my new adventure. I'll get by another day knowing that someday I'll fit. And that's enough, I guess. It has to be.
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