Beautiful Girl

Sara Bareilles 

My dear friends and readers- I would like to introduce you to this beautiful woman, if you don't already know who she is. This is Sara Bareilles. For years, I've listened to her music and journeyed with her through various heart breaks and dark moments in my life and she's always had the perfect, poetic words to describe what I was too afraid to express.  I always felt like I had a perfect friend in that moment, who had waded through the same muck I  felt I was drowning in, with a message of hope and reassurance-that it was okay to actually FEEL what I was feeling. I will always be indebted to her for that action alone.

 But my friends, she has done it yet again!

 In her latest EP entitled "Once Upon Another Time", (which is pretty amazing, at that) she strays away from her typical piano ballads and goes with a simple tune on the ukelele that pretty much speaks for itself. What is beauty, really? Why is it so difficult to see the light struggling to burst from within?  She assures those who simply think they're not 'pretty enough' to step up and recognize the beauty that IS within themselves, to not listen to the voices of the world that will just fade away, but accept and recognize who they are.  I've been waiting so long for an artist who happens to have such a large fan base to tell girls that they are good enough, strong enough, and beautiful enough and they don't have to wait until a man comes along to tell them that. The power is in their hands to acknowledge the fact that they are beautiful and can accomplish wonderful things. This song has helped me out tremendously in the last week alone. If any of you readers have ever struggled with believing that you are, in fact, a beautiful girl, this song is for you.  Acknowledge and embrace who you truly are. Throw aside the facades that DON'T MATTER. I PROMISE, they are only holding you back from your true potential. Share with the world your TRUE beauty -the beauty of your smile, your words, your hands, your heart, and your SOUL.

"Beautiful Girl"

You wanna walk into the room like that other girl does
The one that’s always making everybody fall in love
You see…girl you’re a lot like me.
She rearranges all the light in the room so you’re always in the shadows,
Well that’s what it feels like to you…
Baby I’ve been there too.
And I know how much it can sometimes hurt,
You feel like the whole world has made you the ugly girl.
Take it from me that you have to see it first.

So before you trade in your summer skin for those high heeled shoes,
To make him want to be with you.
Let me remind you one more time…
That just maybe, you’re beautiful but you just cant see.
So why don’t you trust me,
They’ll see it too you beautiful girl you

You wanna lay the blame on somebody else,
All these tiny little minds that leave you up on a shelf.
But okay, I’ve seen it done that way.
Just in case nobody ever comes through,
Riding in to come to your rescue.
You still have a chance,
You don’t have to be asked to dance.
I know how much you’ve been dying to say,
Look how much everybody loves me.
Guess who gets left when everyone else fades away

So before you trade in your summer skin for those high heeled shoes,
To make him want to be with you.
Let me remind you one more time…
That just maybe, you’re beautiful but you just can’t see.
So why don’t you trust me
They’ll see it too you beautiful girl you 

Now that you've listened to this song and acknowledged how beautiful you truly are, I want to take this a step further. 

Mirror Challenge

Sit and think of one of your heroes of all time. Who is your role model? Why do you want to be like them? What attributes do they have that you admire? Really think about it. Write those attributes down.  A dear friend of mine once told me that genius you see in others is really genius you acknowledge within yourself. Those attributes that you wrote down? They're IN YOU! You possess EVERY SINGLE ONE of those traits. Now, they may not be up to par, but that's okay. You have the capability to hone and perfect those attributes.  Re-write your list onto a 3x5 card. Write it in 1st person, with I am in front of every attribute you listed previously. ( see below for an example) Every morning, right when you wake up or walk out the door, say them aloud as you gaze at yourself in the mirror.  FEEL the words. Believe them with all that you are.  I.e.- "I am a beautiful Daughter of God with an incredible capacity for good. I am not afraid of what others think of me and embrace who I am always. I give my all 100% of the time. My spirit is infectious and I continually cause everyone around me to be their best self. I am not afraid to give of my heart and accept everyone for the person they are now..." etc.  Do this for 14 days. By taking part in this experience, I came to know with a greater assurance who I really am and what I can do.  If this is extremely hard for you, do it in the morning and right before you go to sleep. You will see results. We become products of what we think and what we do. You will begin to love the person you see in front of you, and accept how beautiful she REALLY is.  You aren't doing the world any favors by continually hiding in your shell. Break free. Be you. Be beautiful. 

 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. "

~Marianne Williamson from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

This is NOT a food blog...but it could be :)

BEHOLD! 

 MY CREATION!!!

 MWahahahahahahAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

 (*DASH OF THUNDER, SPRIG OF LIGHTNING, AND A HINT OF MORE INSANE, MANIACAL LAUGHTER*) 

VIOLA!!! you get this....

 

Yes. This is an actual photograph of the creation, not some crap from pintrest. Please be polite. He doesn't enjoy being stared at for copious amounts of time... Or drool for that matter.

What is this beautiful concoction taunting you on the other side of a screen? Well, I'll tell you. Its a whole wheat angel hair pasta, swirled in a sweet, roasted red pepper, parmesan and butternut squash marinara, dressed with fresh, garden grown summer squash, tomatoes, basil and garlic, and topped off with mozzarella and basil. It was delicious, folks and incredibly simple to make! Who says that delicious food can't be healthy and fast? The picture above is proof that this can happen! 

I get the opportunity to cook more and I'm starting to create beauties like this every day. I love it. If more of you are interested, I'll post my recipes here in the future. I think that working on making  beautiful food is a good distraction for me right now in my life.  And I love sharing it! So if you have any suggestions, ideas, or just want to try a bite, comment, call and let me know. :)  I don't want to turn my blog primarily into a foodie haven because that's not entirely who I am. I enjoy writing for the sake of writing and I shy away from doing anything mainstream unless it is, without a doubt, an expression of who I am.  So, with that said, if I DO indeed start a challenge, I won't be completely erased. :)  Thanks for reading, my friends! I hope that you take the time to create something beautiful today in your world and sharing with others makes it worthwhile.  Until next time.

Open Auditions: may work out under the table salary agreement

Okay. This is completely and utterly pathetic. It's a Friday night. Its 10 pm. I've already watched two episodes of Bones and Super 8,  made and eaten dinner, cleaned the kitchen, eaten some more,  ran some errands, and I'm still wired and bored out of my mind. 

The truth is, I need someone to share my company with. ( ***pause for desired effect and for pity to dig its grubby claws into innocent, charitable hearts***)

 I'm starting to go insane in this house. I may start talking to people who aren't there, or pick up knitting and become a psychotic cat lady.  I need breaks like any human being and actual intelligent human conversation! Perhaps an opportunity to hang my head out a car window and pant, run in a park, beg? Okay, I don't want you to treat me like a dog, but it's getting to the point that even that interaction would be pleasant. 

So, begrudgingly and with a mountain of embarrassment,  I extend this casting call to all those in the Salt Lake County/ Utah County area that would possibly want to audition to be a potential new best friend.  There are benefits! I do cook! I have a car. I spout out fountains of hilarium every so often. I'm a clutz, so I trip and look like an idiot all the time- you will never be bored! I'm nice and like listening to other people and I never smell like fish. Cons- I am a clutz, can't tap dance, don't know Justin Bieber, I don't like mushrooms, am ADD and OCD, I freak out if my elbows are touched and I may or may not attract all the freaks at Wal-mart whenever I walk through the doors. It's a strange phenomenon, but I've been told it IS an entertaining one at that.  Anyway, I know this  is super lame that I have to do this, especially since I belong to the phylum butterflyus socialus, but will you be my friend? Please?  If you're interested, or know someone who may be, let me know. 

Anyone?

Hello? 

Help?

Learning to Dance Through the Downpour

Hello, my beautiful readers. I, like you most of you, am braving another one of life's torrential down-pours. BUT! Instead of blaring the melancholy music, pulling out my already thinning locks, crying so much I have to call a flood specialist, yelling at the heavens until my voice leaves me and eventually becoming comatose, I decided to write you a run-on sentence. Actually, I really intend to write a (hopefully) delight some list of things I'm grateful for to help me focus on what is, in the eternal perspective of eternity, 'but a small moment.'          ( D&C 121:7)     

 I am grateful for...

 1. Swings and bare-footed walks through long grass

2. The warm wind through my hair and sitting on park benches

3. Roof-top access from my room

4. Hearing of success stories from some of my 'kids' and knowing that I was able to impart something of value in their lives and make a difference. 

5. Fruit snacks and coca-cola.

6. The Priesthood and a caring ward family

7. Hard experiences that prepare you for something else- being able to look back and see the growth that you've made.

8. Music, my ability to sing, and old bugs bunny cartoons

9. Having my best friend know my heart and me, and be by my side every step of the way . It makes things better when earthly friends are far away or gone or aren't able to understand. 

10. The time I have been given here on this earth and the ability to share it with God's children around me. 

I've been trying to pinpoint specific lessons the Lord is trying to teach me as I trudge through the trails. I'm learning about eternal families, what it means to love and share my heart,  to sacrifice all of me,  how to work hard, the importance of  friendships- true ones and the opportunity to build the most important friendship I'll ever have with my Savior,  time clocks- mine and the eternal one, how to make the Lord's will my will, being consistent with my character,  patience...

I just need to remember that when my heart aches more than I can stand, it's just the refiner's fire purifying my heart, building character and helping me progress to where He knows I can be eternally. I am going to strive to keep looking for the silver beams of sunlight fighting their way to break through the heavy clouds pouring overhead, blurring my vision from the beauty that STILL surrounds me and the eternal blessings that I do posses here and now.  I need to remember that I am only 21, (even if it is only for a few more days) and now is the BEST time to embrace life and be the best me and find and make time to have fun too. To enjoy this journey...
 

I guess that is what I'm learning, and what we all are trying to learn...how to dance through the downpour.

 

Angst and Anxiety in August

My dear readers. Things of late have been completely psychotic, to the point where I look at the sky with my arms outstretched and ask "Father, you think that I can do THIS? How!?" It seems as though I'm starting to get swallowed up in the eddies swooping overhead. I'm overwhelmed, my back is completely out, I'm grouchy, my hair is falling out in palm-fulls, my acne is coming back full force and I just may be heading into an OCD overload because I'm up to ears in garbage- literal and metaphorical. I just have no idea what or how I'm going to do in the upcoming weeks, let alone tomorrow. oh. and my grandfather will probably die within the week.  Help?

Later...Like a 24 hour period later....

 Ok...so I had a baby breakdown, but I'm doing better now. As far as updates go, things still look that bleak, but its okay! For those who do not know, I had to move back to Lehi, Utah to help my parents physically and financially for a time. My dad had back surgery this morning and will be out for 8 weeks or so and my mother suffers from Multiple Sclerosis and her condition is proving to grow and grow worse with much more recovery time as she nears what is ultimately the end of her journey here on this earth. So, its up to me, which proves stressful for anyone, but especially a 21 year old girl. I don't exactly know how long I'll be here in the Lehi area, but I have faith that this is where I'm supposed to be for the time being. I had a job interview today on top of everything else, and it actually went well, so I'm hoping that I'll get the position!  I'll keep you updated on everything. Thank you for your support, love and concern every step of the way! Until next time, pray for me? 

When life gets you down...EXERCISE!

That's right, friends! You heard me correctly! So, I'm a crazy person. In probably every aspect of the word. For some, there is one guaranteed thing that makes them happy always and can pull them out of a slump. I am not that person. Sometimes I have to try bizarre, out of the ordinary things like baking cookies, driving aimlessly, talking for hours, playing with play dough, kissing babies, volunteering at a soup kitchen, painting, shooting targets, reading my favorite books, creating some culinary masterpiece and deep cleaning my room and I STILL DO NOT FEEL BETTER!!   I mean, my room's clean, my belly's full and others too, and I probably helped or hindered some relationships,  I could've given a baby some tropical disease, ruined a wall by painting it an atrocious color, read the same story...again,  and I now have cookies to share or eat all by myself, but  in the end, that piercing ache is still there. So last night I resorted to the unthinkable...EXERCISE!

 I think of all sorts of thing to rationalize doing as little exercise as possible. I don't know why. I honestly enjoy exercise when I'm doing it- its just actually getting to get myself to do it that's the problem. and not for too long because I have other things to do. and I get bored REALLY EASILY. and its too hard. and I have had back injuries so I can't do really hard stuff. and in reality i just IMPROVE my appetite when I exercise (like Mr. Winnie the Pooh bear here)  and then I over eat. and then don't want to exercise anymore . and I get fatter then I was before. and do you see the terrible, awful, vicious cycle here?! 

Yes friends. I rode this little beauty.

So, I decided to resort to my last resort, and it worked wonders. I biked for about 3 miles in a short 15 minute window, and worked merely on pushing my legs and the music blaring in my ears. I would've enjoyed the scenery, but it was one of those awesome, old school elliptical  stationary bikes where you self propel a fan and use your arms too!  Anyways, after I was done, I felt great, accomplished and actually somewhat therapeutically sound haha. This morning I did some pilates and just excited to build little by little and celebrate changes in my life, even if its just microscopic movements. Hopefully I stick with making these things HABITS and I don't have to worry if I honestly suck at first, because each time I add, I'll be doing my very best anyway. So here are some goals for my overall physical and mental and spiritual health. 

1. DRINK MORE WATER!!! 2. Exercise a little more every day HARD! and try to modify exercises into the everyday. 3. Portion control and smarter selection- more water and veggies, less crap and carbohydrates. 4. Think of fun game ideas for fitness at work to get both groups excited about being healthy and strong. 5. Discover and implement meditation. and most importantly 6. Keep praying consistently and ask for help and support 7. Expanding my spiritual and mental capacity by diligently studying the scriptures twice a day (including gratitude journal) . 8. Seek out the best books to help my mind continue to grow and develop. 9. Continue to serve those around me 10.  be open to opportunities when they come knocking, but keep dreaming in the meantime!

I hope this comittaphobe can stick to it! I'm going to need all the support I can get! Updates soon to come! And exercise too! Everyone knows we can all use a little more endorphins in our lives! Join with me?

Por Miguel

This post is entirely dedicated to my dear friend and associate, Michael Nielsen. So Mike, if you end up being the only one reading this, I decided I don't wish to trouble you with the headache that has been my  life this week. So, here are some lists. Lists of things I enjoy, find comical, strange or are just plain random. Here we go.

Things That are Strange

·         Mukluks

·         Crawdads

·         Blobfish

·         The fact that Pluto isn’t considered a planet anymore

·         Feet

·         Politicians

·          Glue

·         Snooki

·         Facial piercings

·         Cannibalism

·         BOYS

·         Love

·         The fact that our ears never stop growing

·         Praying mantis’

VIDEOS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY! :D

Some of my Favorite Things
Paintings by Van Gough
Stars
California
Giggling
Hugs
Sunsets
Beaches
Campfires
Children's Books
Miracles
Orange Juice
Heights
Skipping
Chapstick
Frogs
Wind
The smell of a baby
Strawberries
Clue
Moonlit walks
Chopsticks
Cooking
Flowers! Lots and lots of flowers!
Hiking
Farmer's Markets
The twinkle found in the eyes of a stranger
Traveling
Forehead kisses
Antiques
Music Boxes

There you go, friends (or just Mikey) I hope you enjoyed that extremely random, short post! Have a wonderful night/ morning/day! Remember to count the blessings you have, embrace those you love, and seize the moments given to you. Until next time.