Don't Panic!

Don't Panic! I didn't go and hurl myself off a bridge because I didn't think life was worth it anymore. I'm still alive, breathing, in a much healthier mental state than my previous post. After a difficult few days, I was able to talk to my best friend, Christina about all of this mumbo jumbo. I was convinced that I couldn't go to England. After some tears and some realizations, I came to the conclusion that I have plenty of opportunity to be happy. Satan was trying to convince me otherwise. There's a reason why everything has happened the way it has. There are things I'm supposed to do, people I need to meet and lives I need to touch in England and things I need to experience for myself there.  Logically, it seems completely idiotic to go to a foreign land for six months, hardly get paid anything and have most of it go toward your ticket home. But this is what I need to do and its what I'm going to do. It feels so good to finally have a direction, have the spirit with me, and the motivation to move forward. Before I was so overwhelmed with all the options, possibilities and trying to decipher what I was supposed to do, I forgot what was right in front of me the whole time. So, today I'm going to a temp agency, talking to past employers and making another appointment for Biolife so I can purchase my ticket. I am so grateful for such incredible friends who love and support me and are helping make this possible, like Christina, Moth-er ( LaDawn), Taz and amazing Italian Sodas,  for Kyle and his words of wisdom, my relatives and family. Thank you. Things are looking up. I love you all.